Birds only shine in the sky
by Koshi Sekisen
Summary: [Oneshot. Spoilers 121. Yuki introspective. Onesided Yukiru. Kyoru. To HKat.] Yuki ponders about his relationship with Tooru while searching for Kyou.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Fruits Basket, this is merely a fanfiction of Natsumi Takaya's work.

**Manga:** Fruits Basket (Author: Natsumi Takaya)

**Warnings:** Manga 121 Spoilers.

**Pairings:** One-sided Yukiru. Kyoru.

**Dedication:** To HelloKat.

**Summary:** Yuki ponders about his relationship with Tooru while searching for Kyou.

**Author's Note:** I usually write in Spanish, and it has been a long time since I've written anything in English. Therefore there may be some very silly grammatical mistakes. If so, please forgive me.

Birds only shine in the sky

_Yuki's POV_

I don't know how I could even hope my affection would be reciprocated. Sure, I am the so-called Prince, but that did little good considering she was the bull's-eye when it came to my fan's glaring. There was little I could do to protect her. I could only treat her coldly and I barely dared to smile at her in case she'd met bad acquaintances, … so I basically had to shut myself from her. She, Tooru Honda, doesn't seem to mind at all, she keeps being as polite, sweet and gentle as ever; she still calls me "Yuki-kun", a name that only sounds sweet when spoken by her voice.

That's why, that's exactly why I do not understand how I could have _dreamt_ of her feeling the same way as I. I once told Kakeru Manabe, Vice-President of the student council, or Agent Black or whatever stupid name he called himself; I told him I searched a mother in her. It wasn't a lie, exactly, but it was only partially true.

I know Honda-san for more than a year; how long exactly, I don't know, but I vividly remember two New Years with her. One at her side, sitting on the roof and catching a cold the following week; and the next one I dared going to the Main House, at Akito's, by her side. I am one of the few who knows her true gender, after all, being locked with her for years and years couldn't have hidden that from me. It's also not easy to forget a ceramic bottle thrown on your temple –it gave me quite a headache–. No New Year brought only good consequences, and I should have been able to notice that perhaps it was a sign.

Like I was saying, my love, affection, feelings… for Honda-san are quite complicated. True, I see that motherly figure I've been searching since I remember: the person who cares, the person who asks… she _is_ like a mother to me. And I… well, can only try to understand why. As in exactly _why_ I _care_ for _her_, makes me wonder how deep my feelings run. As I talked to Kakeru Manabe I realized it. But that really wasn't the whole truth. I could say that, but I can _never_ open up completely. To him… yes, maybe I could; but if I ever do, it'll be some time from now.

Because I _do_ care for Honda-san. The same care I am aware the baka-neko feels for her as well. I wish for her well-being, I'd sacrifice my life and have no afterthoughts of my decision, I'm sure. I'd give the world to her if she'd ask me, and that's because I love her more than anything. More than anything in the world.

That's why I still wonder how I dared to expect the same feelings from her… towards me. The day I talked to her the first time was the day she declared her undying love for the cat. Not the _nezumi_ (no, she was angry with them and she still found it in her heart to forgive me), but for the outcast, the _neko_.

She climbed the roof, she forgave him, she saw and didn't back away when the neko showed his hidden form; she supported him, she… she even confessed her feelings for him. She didn't want him locked away. She wanted to break the curse… for him, for his freedom, for his happiness. And he ran away. He ran away from her when she said the words I'd been longing to hear dedicated to me.

And. He. Ran. Away.

And here I am now, running after him since I told her to enter the house so she wouldn't get sick… and dammit. I cannot help it and swear loudly and bite my lip to avoid the stinging sensation in my eyes. Because I'm sad, but I care not for _my_ sadness, but for _hers_. She _wants_ him back… I'll bring him back.

Honda-san. I only wish for your happiness. If it breaks my heart: I care not, but I want to see your smile.

She had _always_ wanted the neko. True, she had cared for me as well, taken care of my sicknesses and asthma that only make her frown in worry… She had always given me advice and courage, she taught me well… it _is_ thanks to her that I forgave Akito and what she did to me. She told me once to never blame: but fix. It gave me a scar on my forehead, but healed a wound on my soul.

How could I not love you, Honda-san?

How could I not wish to see you smile?

Maybe it would be my opinion that Kyou doesn't deserve her. But she sees through him, she sees what I do not. I am the nezumi, I'm not supposed to be able to understand him. Yet, I do understand _her_.

My opinion matters not, never, Honda-san's feelings are above it. I comprehend, though, his need to fight me, his need to prove worthy, thus, his constant competition. And for the first time in my life: I lost, and now: I surrender. For this is not about me but about her, only her, her gaze, her smile, her laugh, her happiness… I devoted my entire life to her the moment she accepted me, defying the words I once believed them true, spoken by Akito's shallow whisper: "You are a monster. Nobody will ever want you." But she did, and now I am doing what I might have believed a year ago to be reckless and stupid: giving her up.

I want her: that I cannot deny. But one mustn't learn to love a bird trapped in a cage, for their feathers and beauty will only show when they are free. A lesson I have been taught by her and still has to be accepted by Akito, that keeps her own, Kureno, caged. I pity him, I really do. I know what it is to never see the light, to never be able to breath outside and his silent resignation makes me feel strangely sympathetic. I don't want Honda-san's eyes to look so dull and sad…

That's why I must and will set her free.

I will keep gazing at the sky to catch the sight of you, Honda-san, but now I have finally learned my lesson: I shall never keep you again. If you come I want it to be willingly but since I can't forsee it: I can only hope you will be okay, I can only nurse your hurt wing if hurt, give you water if you feel thirst…

Honda-san, I'll keep watching you from afar.

Because birds only shine in the sky.

THE END

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**Author's Note:** As I mentioned above, I am sure there are **many** grammar mistakes, specially prepositions (oh, they're my enemies!). I got this idea while reading the summaries of the newest chapter and well, since I'm a Yukiru fan I wanted to believe there might be another meaning behind what Yuki said about Tooru as a mother. I disagree with fanfiction that criticize Takaya-san's decision, for she must have had her reasons. I can only try to follow her story-line viewing it from another POV. I hope it helped those Yukiru fans who are so angry about that chapter.

Anyway, this is also my first Furuba Fanfiction! I'm quite happy about it (except the whole grammar problem) and I hope you liked it. Please review and tell me your opinion. If it's bad, please do not flame but I'm wide open to criticism (constrictive appreciated, destructive not as much…) and I will keep trying to improve my skills.

Thank you all!


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